Wishing You a Merry Christmas

I just wanted to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas! I hope you all enjoy the holidays and that this next year brings happiness and many blessing to all of you.

Here are a picture of my two miracle babies and stepdaughter: Serenity - 6 Brynn- 14 months and Hannah - 4 months

Post Your Holiday Photo too :)

A questionable adoption agency

Hey everyone -

Just wanted to give you a "heads up" on an adoption agency (based out of Utah) that my friend just warned me about.  She says that after two separate personal incidents with them, that she and her husband found out a lot of negative information about the agency- unfortunately, she didn't give more details than that.

They are All for Love adoption agency, and I would advise caution if you are looking into using them, or if you have been approached through an outside source (i.e., parentprofiles.com).

I personally have not researched this agency, so I hope that I am not offending anyone by passing on this information.  If you've adopted through this agency and have had positive experiences, please let us know.  I would hate to be the one that keeps others from using a legitimate agency because of this post.

All I want for Christmas is...

Hi everyone! I wanted to share something that I have found this last month. You can check it out at this website: http://conceptionkit.com. My girlfriend used them and has her own success story after trying for about two years on their own. They don't have a diagnosed problem, and everyone's situation is different, but it is nice to see an option for $100/month compared with what some of us have done!!

Hope that this isn't inappropriate and/or doesn't feel like advertising. Also, I would never want to be 'that person' that says "Why don't you just try this?"

On the other hand, it really seems like a good thing, and I think I read that they have a 25% success rate for couples that try it.

Alright, that is my show and tell for today! Hope you all are doing well!

Bonding

Has anyone else worried about bonding with an adopted child?

Shortly after we took Mimi home from the hospital someone said to me, "You can't even remember life without her, can you?" and I laughed and told them that of course I could!  How could nine years of just the two of us fade away after a month or two of dirty diapers, crying, and mid-night feedings?  As I reflected on the question and my response, I began to realize that what they were talking about was the "instant bond" that mothers seem to feel toward their children only minutes after giving birth which seems to change the way a new mother looks at everything.  I began to wonder if it was because Mimi was adopted that I didn't feel that bond, although I'd heard some adoptive parents say they'd felt it right after having their child placed into their arms.  But as much as I loved my little girl and knew that she was mine the moment that I saw her, I didn't feel "the bond".  It worried me a little, but I was busy with a new little baby, and honestly didn't have much time to even think about it, except to re-evaluate periodically and see if I felt that way yet.  No one told me that the feeling can grow from the simple love that you begin with, but because of our adoption situation, I had complete faith that having her in our family was right and that the feeling would eventually come.  And I was right!

Mimi is now 2 years old and just a few weeks ago during a diaper change as we sat giggling together over something silly, I had this overwhelming feeling of rightness come over me that being her mom was what I was always meant to do.  And it was then that I realized that the bond that I'd longed for had been growing inside of me as she grew.  And I couldn't imagine my life without her. As I thought about that feeling over the next few days, I realized that I had gotten to the point that even though I could remember those nine years, that they were fuzzy compared to the last two- even with dirty diapers, sickness, tantrums and all.  That's not to say that I don't have moments of wishing for a little peace and quiet, but I'm grateful for the small, simple joys that occur in random ways every day.

Just a little something to think about!

Everywhere in nature we are taught the lessons of patience and waiting. We want things a long time before we get them, and the fact that we want them a long time makes them all the more precious when they come.~Joseph F. Smith

I ran into this blog, I don't even remember how now. http://therhouse.blogspot.com/ To tell you the truth I have not been able to read much on it. But the things she wrote rang so true to me. I feel like it's something we can all relate to. Hope you enjoy!

A Little Reading

Just found this article I thought you all may enjoy.

http://segullah.org/small-epiphanies/compassion/

Your always in my thoughts and prayers!

tears of sorrow

Thanks for the beautiful posts ... Elder Wirthlin's talk and From God's Arms. They were both wonderful reminders to me of the miracles in my life. And particularly at a time in which I need reminding.

We found out Wednesday our birth mother has selected a different family and is working on placement with a private agency because they can offer her living expenses. Again, none of this really makes any sense to me. And once again the tears of lost opportunities continue to fall.

Sorry I haven't called or emailed, we haven't quite known what to say. We not ready to completely shut this door ... just the window.

Our resolve to have faith and hope remains strong.

From God's Arms

I'm sure you've all head this song before, but I thought it was really sweet how Donny and Marie introduce it, especially since November is National Adoption Awareness month:

JUST A LITTLE STORY.......

Hello everyone....I hope you are all doing well. It has been such a busy time for everyone! I just wanted to share an experience I had today at the mall....

I saw a guy standing in line at the chick Filia we made eye contact and nodded like we knew eachother. After he got his food I said.....

How do I know you
he said didn't we go to school together
I said no, and then asked him if maybe he had adopted any children. Why would I think to ask this random, personal question to someone I didn't even know....or did I????
Any way he said well we are actually adopting TODAY
I said WHAT, WOW, that is awesome!

I went on to tell him that my two boys are adopted and that I was so happy for him and his wife. He informed me the reason they were at chick Filia was because there placement had been postponed and they were killing time. I was amazed that we made this unusual connection on this particular day. He sat to have lunch with his wife and me and the boys finished up ours. I stopped on our way out to say hi to his wife and congratulate her. You could tell she was a little apprehensive and asked me if it was normal to have the placement postponed. I reassured her it was and that most people I know have had placement postponed for one reason or another. After talking with them for a few minutes about our adoptions and what a miracle it has been for us I gathered the boys and left. I pray with all my heart this sweet couple received the miracle of a child today. I believe the Lord puts us in the right place at the right time and I feel that is what he did today. This sweet couple just needed a Little reassurance and I hope in some small way I was able to help. I drove home with a pray in my heart for them but also a prayer of gratitude for my boys and what they have given to me. Not only have they made me a mother but they have given me a perspective I would not have other wise. I wouldn't have been able to connect with this couple on such a personal and deep level. I got tears in my eyes knowing what an amazing experience they were in for today. Life is not easy for any of us no matter what our trials are. Infertility is hard but it is also a blessing. It is a blessing to see these children for what they truly are....A MIRACLE. I wouldn't trade this knowledge for anything. Even though I have had to endure a lot of heart ache and pain I wouldn't change a thing. I have been paid back a hundred fold by my loving Heavenly Father. It is because of this trial my joy is so full. Infertility is still hard for me and there are days I just cry. I feel I lost 6 months of my life with our IVF and the pain is still there. BUT I have been so blessed. I think if we choose to count our blessings and find joy in life even tough it is NOT easy we can find true happiness. We just have to trust the Lord and put complete faith in him and he will give us the peace and comfort we need.

I loved this talk by Elder Wirthlin from Conference and wanted to share it. I felt this talk was written just for me. I cried my eyes out through the whole thing and even wrote him a letter thanking him for giving me the answerer's I was looking for. I hope that it will bring that same comfort to you. All the pain you have felt and the tears you have cried are not in vain. There is a purpose just be patient and you will know and understand the reason for your trial!!!


The way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.
When I was young I loved playing sports, and I have many fond memories of those days. But not all of them are pleasant. I remember one day after my football team lost a tough game, I came home feeling discouraged. My mother was there. She listened to my sad story. She taught her children to trust in themselves and each other, not blame others for their misfortunes, and give their best effort in everything they attempted.
When we fell down, she expected us to pick ourselves up and get going again. So the advice my mother gave to me then wasn’t altogether unexpected. It has stayed with me all my life.
“Joseph,” she said, “come what may, and love it.”
I have often reflected on that counsel.
I think she may have meant that every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result.
There may be some who think that General Authorities rarely experience pain, suffering, or distress. If only that were true. While every man and woman on this stand today has experienced an abundant measure of joy, each also has drunk deeply from the cup of disappointment, sorrow, and loss. The Lord in His wisdom does not shield anyone from grief or sadness.
For me, the Lord has opened the windows of heaven and showered blessings upon my family beyond my ability to express. Yet like everyone else, I have had times in my life when it seemed that the heaviness of my heart might be greater than I could bear. During those times I think back to those tender days of my youth when great sorrows came at the losing end of a football game.
How little I knew then of what awaited me in later years. But whenever my steps led through seasons of sadness and sorrow, my mother’s words often came back to me: “Come what may, and love it.”
How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment. I don’t think my mother was suggesting that we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think she was suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.
If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.
Over the years I have learned a few things that have helped me through times of testing and trial. I would like to share them with you.

Learn to Laugh

The first thing we can do is learn to laugh. Have you ever seen an angry driver who, when someone else makes a mistake, reacts as though that person has insulted his honor, his family, his dog, and his ancestors all the way back to Adam? Or have you had an encounter with an overhanging cupboard door left open at the wrong place and the wrong time which has been cursed, condemned, and avenged by a sore-headed victim?
There is an antidote for times such as these: learn to laugh.
I remember loading up our children in a station wagon and driving to Los Angeles. There were at least nine of us in the car, and we would invariably get lost. Instead of getting angry, we laughed. Every time we made a wrong turn, we laughed harder.
Getting lost was not an unusual occurrence for us. Once while heading south to Cedar City, Utah, we took a wrong turn and didn’t realize it until two hours later when we saw the “Welcome to Nevada” signs. We didn’t get angry. We laughed, and as a result, anger and resentment rarely resulted. Our laughter created cherished memories for us.
I remember when one of our daughters went on a blind date. She was all dressed up and waiting for her date to arrive when the doorbell rang. In walked a man who seemed a little old, but she tried to be polite. She introduced him to me and my wife and the other children; then she put on her coat and went out the door. We watched as she got into the car, but the car didn’t move. Eventually our daughter got out of the car and, red faced, ran back into the house. The man that she thought was her blind date had actually come to pick up another of our daughters who had agreed to be a babysitter for him and his wife.
We all had a good laugh over that. In fact, we couldn’t stop laughing. Later, when our daughter’s real blind date showed up, I couldn’t come out to meet him because I was still in the kitchen laughing. Now I realize that our daughter could have felt humiliated and embarrassed. But she laughed with us, and as a result, we still laugh about it today.
The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable.

Seek for the Eternal

The second thing we can do is seek for the eternal. You may feel singled out when adversity enters your life. You shake your head and wonder, “Why me?”
But the dial on the wheel of sorrow eventually points to each of us. At one time or another, everyone must experience sorrow. No one is exempt.
I love the scriptures because they show examples of great and noble men and women such as Abraham, Sarah, Enoch, Moses, Joseph, Emma, and Brigham. Each of them experienced adversity and sorrow that tried, fortified, and refined their characters.
Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others.
Because Jesus Christ suffered greatly, He understands our suffering. He understands our grief. We experience hard things so that we too may have increased compassion and understanding for others.
Remember the sublime words of the Savior to the Prophet Joseph Smith when he suffered with his companions in the smothering darkness of Liberty Jail: “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”1
With that eternal perspective, Joseph took comfort from these words, and so can we. Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome.

The Principle of Compensation

The third thing we can do is understand the principle of compensation. The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.
One of the blessings of the gospel is the knowledge that when the curtain of death signals the end of our mortal lives, life will continue on the other side of the veil. There we will be given new opportunities. Not even death can take from us the eternal blessings promised by a loving Heavenly Father.
Because Heavenly Father is merciful, a principle of compensation prevails. I have seen this in my own life. My grandson Joseph has autism. It has been heartbreaking for his mother and father to come to grips with the implications of this affliction.
They knew that Joseph would probably never be like other children. They understood what that would mean not only for Joseph but for the family as well. But what a joy he has been to us. Autistic children often have a difficult time showing emotion, but every time I’m with him, Joseph gives me a big hug. While there have been challenges, he has filled our lives with joy.
His parents have encouraged him to participate in sports. When he first started playing baseball, he was in the outfield. But I don’t think he grasped the need to run after loose balls. He thought of a much more efficient way to play the game. When a ball was hit in his direction, Joseph watched it go by and then pulled another baseball out of his pocket and threw that one to the pitcher.
Any reservations that his family may have had in raising Joseph, any sacrifices they have made have been compensated tenfold. Because of this choice spirit, his mother and father have learned much about children with disabilities. They have witnessed firsthand the generosity and compassion of family, neighbors, and friends. They have rejoiced together as Joseph has progressed. They have marveled at his goodness.
Trust in the Father and the Son
The fourth thing we can do is put our trust in our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.
“God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son.”2 The Lord Jesus Christ is our partner, helper, and advocate. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to be successful. If we do our part, He will step in.
He who descended below all things will come to our aid. He will comfort and uphold us. He will strengthen us in our weakness and fortify us in our distress. He will make weak things become strong.3
One of our daughters, after giving birth to a baby, became seriously ill. We prayed for her, administered to her, and supported her as best we could. We hoped she would receive a blessing of healing, but days turned into months, and months turned into years. At one point I told her that this affliction might be something she would have to struggle with the rest of her life.
One morning I remember pulling out a small card and threading it through my typewriter. Among the words that I typed for her were these: “The simple secret is this: put your trust in the Lord, do your best, then leave the rest to Him.”
She did put her trust in God. But her affliction did not disappear. For years she suffered, but in due course, the Lord blessed her, and eventually she returned to health.
Knowing this daughter, I believe that even if she had never found relief, yet she would have trusted in her Heavenly Father and “[left] the rest to Him.”
Conclusion
Although my mother has long since passed to her eternal reward, her words are always with me. I still remember her advice to me given on that day long ago when my team lost a football game: “Come what may, and love it.”
I know why there must be opposition in all things. Adversity, if handled correctly, can be a blessing in our lives. We can learn to love it.
As we look for humor, seek for the eternal perspective, understand the principle of compensation, and draw near to our Heavenly Father, we can endure hardship and trial. We can say, as did my mother, “Come what may, and love it.” Of this I testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I can't say that I love being infertile or that our IVF didn't work, but I take comfort knowing that someday somehow I will be blessed with another child and that I will LOVE......

Ouch

Hi girls! I hope you all had a fun Halloween and enjoyed Election Day yesterday. I'm posting today because until recently, I hadn't been thinking all that much about our infertility. No, nothing's different with our situation. We're still saving our pennies for either in vitro or adoption early next year. Even though it seems far away, I've been at peace with it...until recently. I know a lot has been said in the media about Proposition 8 in California, which the Church supported. On the other hand, for a multitude of reasons, I did not. Do I still believe in and sustain my Church and its leaders? Of course. I just disagreed (not like it even mattered, since I don't live in California). For the most part, I kept my opinion on such a controversial issue to myself. But when pressed, I admitted that I did not support Prop 8. That's when the firestorm began.

I was told, by more than one person, that the reason my husband and I are infertile is because I am disobeying the Lord by opposing Prop 8. I was told that if I was more faithful and did not dissent or murmur, maybe then I would be worthy enough to become a mother. Ouch. Other women I know have been told that clearly they're not being faithful enough, or paying enough tithing or fast offerings, so that's why they're infertile. Girls, I hope that despite political differences, we can all agree that the Lord just doesn't work like that. I don't think we're punished or rewarded with children according to our politics or other matters. Otherwise, how do you explain all the out-of-wedlock, drug-and-alchohol-fueld pregnancies that occur constantly? So, to anyone who's had similarly insensitive and/or rude things said to them, take heart. The Lord I know, the one who speaks to me through the sweet whisperings of the Spirit, doesn't do that. He loves us all, and infertility is not a punishment.

FEAR vs. FAITH

In my life, I continue to ask myself am I making decisions out of fear or faith???

At our lunch group on Friday, we were talking about past relationships and how sometimes patterns tend to repeat themselves.

I was reminded of a time in high school when a friend I was hanging out with asked me to choose - if I was going to play it safe and stay "outside the fire" --thanks to Garth Brooks -- because of fear, or if I was going to "step inside the fire" with faith. My conscious decision to take a big risk lead to a great love and a meaningful relationship.

I too am facing a new "fire" as we risk putting ourselves out there in hopes of adopting another child. As I was pondering the risk, I realized fear is the only that holds me back. Fear of time, fear of losing money, fear of not being selected, fear of the birth mother's expectations, and fear of another loss. For me these fears are real, as they are for many of you.

But if I let go of fear, the decision to LOVE and have complete FAITH in Heavenly Father's plan for me and my family is easy. My heart opens to embrace the joys of loving more fully, with less conditions. And experience more true faith, in which I doubt less.

My prayer is we continue to choose faith over fear! Enjoying the joy in the journey a bit more!!

Looking for Advice

Hi sisters. I am new to the blog and have been touched by your experiences shared and the invitation to belong to this support group.
Me and my husband have been married for five years and have been doing inferility treatments and testing for the past three years. This summer we were elated when an IUI treatment was successful and we were pregnant! It was a very exciting and special eleven weeks until our baby's heart stopped 15 days ago. We have been dealing with the loss of our sweet baby as well as the loss of our dream of starting a family finally coming true.
Part of the struggle with our miscarriage was telling all of the many people that had encouraged and supported us, and I was dreading all of the comments about "how this happens for a reason" or maybe if we would have done something differently... I have been surprised and glad that most people have just expressed sympathy, until last week after my D&C a family member asked my husband if I had "had my abortion yet". He told her that was not a good choice of words, but it really hurt me and I worry about her telling other people that we aborted our baby.
So my question is, how do you deal with hurtful comments? Is it better to try and educate people about what they are saying that is incorrect, or is it better to let things go and not risk also offending them?
I hope this is an OK post, especially because it is kind of grumpy and I am new to the group! Others just don't understand quite the same or haven't gone through these trials.
I look forward to getting to know you better~
RaeAnn

My Miracle

It's been awhile since I have posted anything, but since reading Sherydon's exciting news - I thought I would share mine. As you might remember from my previous post - my issues of infertility deal with the ability to carry a child to full term. I have lost 3 babies to first trimester miscarriages and my tiny son Nathan was born 4.5 months premature and lived ten minutes. When I wrote my last post I was 7 months pregnant and on full bed rest because I once again began dilating and contracting at 4 months. Well on August 10th at 35 weeks pregnant I gave birth to a beautiful red headed little girl named Hannah. The delivery was very dramatic and scary. Multiple doctors and crash teams were brought in. My blood pressure went from 120/80 to 50/35. Hannah arrived and was pretty blue and very banged up due to the doctors having to manually pull her out. She was rushed to NICU where she spent a week due to a undetected heart condition. She is now doing well and the doctors will continue to monitor her heart as she grows. I feel truly blessed to have her as the doctors once again reminded us in the delivery room that they were amazed she had made it to 35 weeks and through the delivery. I am so grateful for this little miracle from heaven. I know that our Father in Heaven is mindful of all of us during our trials and he will bless us all -- sometimes we just have to wait and endure until that time -- whatever that trial maybe.

(Hannah at 3 weeks - we blessed her at home so she wouldn't be exposed to a lot of people due to her health issues.)

A miracle in my life.....

After some sweet nudging from Kerith, she has encouraged me to share about the miracle that has changed my life.

Ladies, I am pregant. You were the first people i wanted to shout this wonderful news to. I have been so apprehensive about sharing because i really don't want anyone to think that im rubbing it in, or being insensitive. I don't want anyone to feel anything negative towards me or the situation. Please know that im mindful of each and every one of you. If you don't mind, i'll quickly share my story and be done.

.......When Nick and I went to the RCC on the 26th of Aug. I could feel that i was ovualting so after the evaluation with Dr. Blouer, i asked him when it is best to try when ovulating. I informed him that my current ob gyn had instructed me to wait until 2 days after the LH test was positive before "trying". Dr. Blouer wasn't too fond of that idea and told Nick,"You go home and get her, Nick!" We just giggled, it was too funny to hear him say that. He made a distinct remark that we will remember for the rest of our lives,"Maybe she'll get pregnant so you wont have to spend anymore money!" Ya right!! We hadn't planned on using clomid or doing an IUI because of this Dr. visit, and the fundraiser. I knew that i was going to be so stressed with the fundraiser and if by some crazy miracle i did get pregnant, i didnt' want to miscarry. So my cycle in August was all natural.

Last Wenesday i began with cramps early in the morning and a little spotting, so i took my nessecities with me to work along with a heating pad and tylenol. The whole day was unbearable, i kept watching for my period but nothing but spotting. I figured tomorrow i would probly start. Wednesday night i had cramping so bad that i couldn't sleep, at about 4am or so i gave in and took a percoset for the pain and called into work. At this point the cramps were so bad i had a beating pad on my back and was laying on one as well. I thought for sure i was having a cyst rutpure on my ovary. During that day the cramps lessoned, but still no period, i was getting so frusterated, i just wanted to get my depressing period over. Thursday night again, so much pain, no sleep and no period. I stayed home the next day with cramps and a headache and insatiable hunger that coudn't be filled. Still no period.

That afternoon, my mother had called me and during the conversation we were talking about this period that wasn't coming. She told me that she knew that soon enough i was going to be a mommy. I, as always, rolled my eyes and shrugged it off. My cousin called me and suggested that i take a pregnancy test. I shot her down and told her that i was over taking tests because as soon as i did, id start and be depressed.

When i got off of the phone, the thought kept nagging at me and i started couting the days since the 26th........17days. Um....i don't usually go over 12.? Wierd. I took the test and set it on the counter and figured eventually id go look. While i was watching Ellen a prenancy test commercial came on and reminded me to go look. I went in the bathroom with a bit of an attitude because i knew what it was going to say......Pregnant. I threw the stick, started crying and hyperventilating and called Nick...no answer, he was chasin cows on the forest and didn't have service.

I went to Evanston Regional to get a blood test and didn't get the results that night, Nick was so excited, we were both in shock. We kept saying,"Can you believe this? Can you believe were going to have a baby?". I went home and took 2 more tests just to make sure and lo and behold, all 3 tests were positive. I don't think i have ever felt so much relief, remorse and sheer happiness all at once.

I don't know why Heavenly Father chose to bless me and at times, i feel really guilty. I know that i haven't gone through as much as pretty much every woman on this blog and haven't endured it as long. All i know is that my testimony of faith has grown in leaps and bounds and i want each and everyone of you to know that WE will enjoy every minute for each and every one of you and WE will love this child with everything we have.

I want to thank everyone here for the great love and support you given me, even though we have never even met. Thank you Kim for starting this wonderful sounding board.

Are We Not All Mothers?

I don't know how many of you have heard or read this talk, but I think it bears repeating here.  It is one of my ALL-TIME favorite talks given by a woman who has never been married or had children.  I was in the midst of fertility treatments when I heard her give this talk in women's conference, and I bawled my eyes out.  I hope you all can feel the spirit of this message as keenly as I did seven years ago. -Beck

Motherhood is more than bearing children. … It is the essence of who we are as women.












Sheri L. Dew
Second Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency (September 2001)


This summer four teenage nieces and I shared a tense Sunday evening when we set out walking from a downtown hotel in a city we were visiting to a nearby chapel where I was to speak. I had made that walk many times, but that evening we suddenly found ourselves engulfed by an enormous mob of drunken parade-goers. It was no place for four teenage girls, or their aunt, I might add. But with the streets closed to traffic, we had no choice but to keep walking. Over the din, I shouted to the girls, “Stay right with me.” As we maneuvered through the crush of humanity, the only thing on my mind was my nieces’ safety.

Thankfully, we finally made it to the chapel. But for one unnerving hour, I better understood how mothers who forgo their own safety to protect a child must feel. My siblings had entrusted me with their daughters, whom I love, and I would have done anything to lead them to safety. Likewise, our Father has entrusted us as women with His children, and He has asked us to love them and help lead them safely past the dangers of mortality back home.

Loving and leading—these words summarize not only the all-consuming work of the Father and the Son, but the essence of our labor, for our work is to help the Lord with His work. How, then, may we as Latter-day women of God best help the Lord with His work?

Prophets have repeatedly answered this question, as did the First Presidency six decades ago when they called motherhood “the highest, holiest service … assumed by mankind.”

Have you ever wondered why prophets have taught the doctrine of motherhood—and it is doctrine—again and again? I have. I have thought long and hard about the work of women of God. And I have wrestled with what the doctrine of motherhood means for all of us. This issue has driven me to my knees, to the scriptures, and to the temple—all of which teach an ennobling doctrine regarding our most crucial role as women. It is a doctrine about which we must be clear if we hope to stand “steadfast and immovable” regarding the issues that swirl around our gender. For Satan has declared war on motherhood. He knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire. And he knows that without righteous mothers loving and leading the next generation, the kingdom of God will fail.

When we understand the magnitude of motherhood, it becomes clear why prophets have been so protective of woman’s most sacred role. While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living” —and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality, righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.

President Gordon B. Hinckley stated that “God planted within women something divine.” That something is the gift and the gifts of motherhood. Elder Matthew Cowley taught that “men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls … and the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.”

Motherhood is not what was left over after our Father blessed His sons with priesthood ordination. It was the most ennobling endowment He could give His daughters, a sacred trust that gave women an unparalleled role in helping His children keep their second estate. As President J. Reuben Clark Jr. declared, motherhood is “as divinely called, as eternally important in its place as the Priesthood itself.”

Nevertheless, the subject of motherhood is a very tender one, for it evokes some of our greatest joys and heartaches. This has been so from the beginning. Eve was “glad” after the Fall, realizing she otherwise “never should have had seed.” And yet, imagine her anguish over Cain and Abel. Some mothers experience pain because of the children they have borne; others feel pain because they do not bear children here. About this Elder John A. Widtsoe was explicit: “Women who through no fault of their own cannot exercise the gift of motherhood directly, may do so vicariously.”

For reasons known to the Lord, some women are required to wait to have children. This delay is not easy for any righteous woman. But the Lord’s timetable for each of us does not negate our nature. Some of us, then, must simply find other ways to mother. And all around us are those who need to be loved and led.

Eve set the pattern. In addition to bearing children, she mothered all of mankind when she made the most courageous decision any woman has ever made and with Adam opened the way for us to progress. She set an example of womanhood for men to respect and women to follow, modeling the characteristics with which we as women have been endowed: heroic faith, a keen sensitivity to the Spirit, an abhorrence of evil, and complete selflessness. Like the Savior, “who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross,” Eve, for the joy of helping initiate the human family, endured the Fall. She loved us enough to help lead us.

As daughters of our Heavenly Father, and as daughters of Eve, we are all mothers and we have always been mothers. And we each have the responsibility to love and help lead the rising generation. How will our young women learn to live as women of God unless they see what women of God look like, meaning what we wear, watch, and read; how we fill our time and our minds; how we face temptation and uncertainty; where we find true joy; and why modesty and femininity are hallmarks of righteous women? How will our young men learn to value women of God if we don’t show them the virtue of our virtues?

Every one of us has an overarching obligation to model righteous womanhood because our youth may not see it anywhere else. Every sister in Relief Society, which is the most significant community of women on this side of the veil, is responsible to help our young women make a joyful transition into Relief Society. This means our friendship with them must begin long before they turn 18. Every one of us can mother someone—beginning, of course, with the children in our own families but extending far beyond. Every one of us can show by word and by deed that the work of women in the Lord’s kingdom is magnificent and holy. I repeat: We are all mothers in Israel, and our calling is to love and help lead the rising generation through the dangerous streets of mortality.

Few of us will reach our potential without the nurturing of both the mother who bore us and the mothers who bear with us. I was thrilled recently to see one of my youth leaders for the first time in years. As a teenager who had absolutely no self-confidence, I always sidled up to this woman because she would put her arm around me and say, “You are just the best girl!” She loved me, so I let her lead me. How many young men and women are desperate for your love and leadership? Do we fully realize that our influence as mothers in Israel is irreplaceable and eternal?

When I was growing up, it was not uncommon for Mother to wake me in the middle of the night and say, “Sheri, take your pillow and go downstairs.” I knew what that meant. It meant a tornado was coming, and I was instantly afraid. But then Mother would say, “Sheri, everything will be OK.” Her words always calmed me. Today, decades later, when life seems overwhelming or frightening, I call Mother and wait for her to say, “Everything will be OK.”

Recent horrifying events in the United States have underscored the fact that we live in a world of uncertainty. Never has there been a greater need for righteous mothers—mothers who bless their children with a sense of safety, security, and confidence about the future, mothers who teach their children where to find peace and truth and that the power of Jesus Christ is always stronger than the power of the adversary. Every time we build the faith or reinforce the nobility of a young woman or man, every time we love or lead anyone even one small step along the path, we are true to our endowment and calling as mothers and in the process we build the kingdom of God. No woman who understands the gospel would ever think that any other work is more important or would ever say, “I am just a mother,” for mothers heal the souls of men.

Look around. Who needs you and your influence? If we really want to make a difference, it will happen as we mother those we have borne and those we are willing to bear with. If we will stay right with our youth—meaning, if we will love them—in most cases they will stay right with us—meaning, they will let us lead them.

As mothers in Israel, we are the Lord’s secret weapon. Our influence comes from a divine endowment that has been in place from the beginning. In the premortal world, when our Father described our role, I wonder if we didn’t stand in wide-eyed wonder that He would bless us with a sacred trust so central to His plan and that He would endow us with gifts so vital to the loving and leading of His children. I wonder if we shouted for joy at least in part because of the ennobling stature He gave us in His kingdom. The world won’t tell you that, but the Spirit will.

We just can’t let the Lord down. And if the day comes when we are the only women on earth who find nobility and divinity in motherhood, so be it. For mother is the word that will define a righteous woman made perfect in the highest degree of the celestial kingdom, a woman who has qualified for eternal increase in posterity, wisdom, joy, and influence.

I know, I absolutely know, that these doctrines about our divine role are true, and that when understood they bring peace and purpose to all women. My dear sisters, whom I love more than I know how to express, will you rise to the challenge of being mothers in these perilous times, though doing so may test the last ounce of your endurance and courage and faith? Will you stand steadfast and immovable as a mother in Israel and a woman of God? Our Father and His Only Begotten Son have given us a sacred stewardship and a holy crown in their kingdom. May we rejoice in it. And may we be worthy of Their trust. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.