Bonding

Has anyone else worried about bonding with an adopted child?

Shortly after we took Mimi home from the hospital someone said to me, "You can't even remember life without her, can you?" and I laughed and told them that of course I could!  How could nine years of just the two of us fade away after a month or two of dirty diapers, crying, and mid-night feedings?  As I reflected on the question and my response, I began to realize that what they were talking about was the "instant bond" that mothers seem to feel toward their children only minutes after giving birth which seems to change the way a new mother looks at everything.  I began to wonder if it was because Mimi was adopted that I didn't feel that bond, although I'd heard some adoptive parents say they'd felt it right after having their child placed into their arms.  But as much as I loved my little girl and knew that she was mine the moment that I saw her, I didn't feel "the bond".  It worried me a little, but I was busy with a new little baby, and honestly didn't have much time to even think about it, except to re-evaluate periodically and see if I felt that way yet.  No one told me that the feeling can grow from the simple love that you begin with, but because of our adoption situation, I had complete faith that having her in our family was right and that the feeling would eventually come.  And I was right!

Mimi is now 2 years old and just a few weeks ago during a diaper change as we sat giggling together over something silly, I had this overwhelming feeling of rightness come over me that being her mom was what I was always meant to do.  And it was then that I realized that the bond that I'd longed for had been growing inside of me as she grew.  And I couldn't imagine my life without her. As I thought about that feeling over the next few days, I realized that I had gotten to the point that even though I could remember those nine years, that they were fuzzy compared to the last two- even with dirty diapers, sickness, tantrums and all.  That's not to say that I don't have moments of wishing for a little peace and quiet, but I'm grateful for the small, simple joys that occur in random ways every day.