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Okay, so here's the skinny:

Mimi's adoption was one of those that was "super-open", but her birth-mom moved to Illinois this past summer when she joined the military.   Due to the nature of the adoption, we've always had a good relationship with her and her family.   Anyway, she called us Wednesday after her ultrasound and asked my hubby if we would adopt this one too and of course he said yes, but there are some pretty big complications, the biggest of which is the fact that Illinois adoption law is so different from Utah law.  The other complication is from the birth-father who seems openly hostile toward the LDS faith in general and adoption in particular.  We are worried about it even happening and trying desperately to not get our hopes up.

Tamara, if you don't mind me asking, you said that placement was a "can of worms".  Mind if I ask you to share your experience?  We are super concerned about placement (if she ends up having the baby there) mostly because of the birth-father's hostility.  Although, the Illinois case-worker seems to think that with him living here in Utah, it would be better for her to give birth far away from him.  But our caseworker gave us the info on relinquishment of parental rights in Illinois, and now I'm worried because if she does give birth there, and he does NOTHING, he has 30 days following the baby's birth to make a claim, AND the agency has to provide proof that he was notified of the adoption plan.  Utah Law seems better because its 24 hours (or is it 48 now?) following the birth of the baby and his rights are terminated if he hasn't signed the birth-father registry (and you don't have to tell him about the adoption plan).

**Sigh**

I think I just need to calm down and wait for things to unfold a step at a time...

Lots of impossible stuff...

Gave a talk on Mother's day in my ward.  Lots of quotes from Sheri Dew and if anyone wants to read it, its located here.  It is kinda long, though.

Anywho, if you do actually click on over, please be careful what you post as what I'm about to say is still pretty confidential, and I don't want my family and friends freaking out because I didn't tell them...

Erica (my daughter's birth-mom) called Monday night.  She found out on Mother's Day that she is pregnant, but her fiance broke up with her about a month ago.  She is FIVE months pregnant, and still unsure about what she's going to do.  She's in the Navy right now, going through school (in Chicago at the Great Lakes Naval Training Center) for her specialty.  She isn't going to get kicked out for being pregnant, and it kind of sounded like she's thinking about parenting, although she did tell her mom (I talked to her yesterday) that she thought we would only be interested in adopting her baby if it is a boy. (Which isn't the least bit true.)

But I need some help here.  Have any of you had birth-mothers that lived out-of-state?  How did you handle the distance in the relationship?  Any ideas would be helpful!  I hope you all are doing well!

hey ladies.

just wanted to update.. it's been a week.

had my 2nd beta and it was exactly 150.. so dr. f thinks maybe 2?? ah.

i had another one drawn this past monday and it was 771 so it's still rising appropriately and we'll now just wait for heartbeat(s) at the end of may. thanks for all the well wishes, but we still have so FAR to go before we quit worrying. but once again, dr. f is AMAZING. 2 for 2.

ash

.ivf #4.

hey ladies...

not sure who still reads this, but we did start the adoption process while we were pursuing our 4th ivf (2nd with SIRM). i'm happy to report that our first beta at 7dp5dt or 11 dpo was 52. we are pretty excited but still VERY aware that this could end up like last time. last cycle my first beta was 5, so 52 is a significant improvement and dr. f said if it's over 150 tomorrow that we may be having 2 :) we'll see tomorrow. hope you are all doing well.

oh, and we have 4 frosties! crazy how a different dr can improve the outcome so much!