Hi ladies! Thanks for letting me join the blog. I 'll start by introducing myself. I am Katy and I am 25. We live in Southeast Idaho. I have been married 6 years and we have a wonderful four year old daughter. We had no trouble getting pregnant with our daughter and we also got pregnant with a second after only 6 months of trying. Unfortunately that pregnancy ended in miscarriage at the beginning of our 2nd trimester. We have now been trying 3 years, we have our adoption papers in and are trying different fertility treatments. The doctors say everything is working and we should be getting pregnant but I am guessing the Lord has other plans. We recently tried a natural IUI cycle and it didn't work. We are going in for more blood tests and discuss our options next week. I get so tired of this emotional roller coaster. I have a really hard time watching my daughter grow up with no siblings. I also get tired of all the well meaning comments or advice. It just discourages me. I have a question to all those that have adopted or considered adoption... Did you ever go back and forth on your decision?
Sometimes I feel strongly that we are supposed to adopt and then I get scared and then I am not sure that that is what we are supposed to do. Then I will get strong feelings towards trying different fertility treatments and I just get confused when they don't work. I don't know if this is making any sense but if any of you have any insight I would sure appreciate it!
Anyway that is me!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Introduction
Posted by Kendall and Katy at 7:53 AM
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8 comments:
Okay so I totally know what you mean I have a 6yr old and he is a blessing. Took us a little time to get him but didnt have to do any infetility things. Now we have also just put our papers in for adoption. But I just kept going back and forth on what to do. So I have for now given up on all fertility things. I think my body for now has had enough. But hang in there I know things will work out the way they are meant to be for you. Thanks for sharing your story it is nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you!
It wouldn't be right if you didn't question it right?
There are even times post-adoption that I sometimes wonder if we did the right thing.
In the end I always have these "spiritual reassurances" that this is the plan that Heavenly Father intended for me.
I know for us...we never had a bolt of lightening or visions or such telling us how to get our family off the ground. We just followed what we felt was right, and kept going with it. If it dead-ended or felt we were pushing to hard to make it work we changed direction. Hope that makes sense?
Welcome! Nice to have you here!
Totally different topic, but when I was single I had a strong prompting to move from Seattle to Portland. That was June and I couldn't move until the end of October. In the intervening months I went all over the board on my decisions and couldn't get back to feeling strongly about my original decision. I thought that maybe the Lord had changed his mind. When I talked to my dad about it he said he finds when he sticks with his original decision he comes to see it was the right one. I thought at first his advice didn't apply to me but over time decided to put my faith in my original choice to move to Portland. It was the best choice I ever could have made, and I am so grateful for a wise father. So I give you the same advice. Stick to your original decision.
I went back and forth the whole time we were trying to adopt. I never believed that adoption would work out for us until I actually took my daughter home.
You are SO not alone in your feelings.
Thank you for all your encouraging words. You have really helped me feel like I am not alone in feeling these things.
We were all over the map when it came to adoption. When we first picked up the paperwork, we let it sit on top of the fridge for five months before we even looked at it. Then after we had been in the pool for only three months, we started getting antsy and feeling like no one would choose us. We made the decision that I would call our Social worker the next morning and remove our names (we had this grand idea that we would both go to school full time and eventually have advanced degrees in something). The next morning the phone rang and it was our Social Worker letting us know that a birth mom wanted an additional letter from us! We whipped up that letter in a jiffy and drove it almost two hours so that she would get it that day. It's amazing how much motivation a little good news can muster up.
I think whether it's adoption or fertility treatments, feelings can turn from night to day in an instant. It's not fun, but we're here for you.
Our son will be six next month and has no siblings, but we're filling in quite nicely for the time being, and possibly indefinitely. I try not to feel discouraged about it though because I look pretty cool in an eye patch with a pirate sword.
I think we all question our decisions and wonder if we are doing the right thing. For me all I can do is go back and remember the feelings I had when I felt it was right. We all know that just because it feels right doesn't mean it is going to turn out the way we want it to. BUT I have found it has always brought me one step closer to where I need to be. The Lord has a plan for all of us and sometimes we just need to put our trust in him. I think that it couldn't hurt to put your papers in and do fertility treaments at the same time. We started our papers durring the last 3 months of our fertility process. I was so glad when we decided to be done that we had a head start with the adoption process. Fertility is so hard, emotionally and physically. Working on your papers could also be a break from fertility where you could still be pro-active. I can not tell you the relief that came from ending fertility and foucusing on adoption. Hope this helps a little. Only you know what is right for you and your family.
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