My Intro (dd mentioned)

Thank you for allowing me to say hi, I’ve enjoyed this blog so much! Hopefully anyone else who is new can also introduce themselves also. My name is Tamara, age 29 and my hubby and I live in the SLC valley. Been married eight years, TTC since 2003 and have never experienced a pregnancy. Our dx is male factor, specifically tetrazoospermia which basically is low counts, poor progressive motility and he has 0% morphology (all the wrong shape). We’ve had one failed IUI and then shortly after learned that IVF w/ ICSI is the only option we really have fertility wise.

After trying for four years we came to a crossroads of trying IVF or pursuing adoption. From the start we felt very guided by the spirit that we were supposed to pursue adoption at that time. I could write a novel about our adoption experience but to spare you all here it is in a nutshell. Started paperwork 06/2006, approved 01/2007, started emailing with her bmom 05/2007, officially matched 07/2007, and DD born in late 10/2007. Boy that makes it seem so simple which is wasn't! Her birthfather contested two weeks after placement and I spent four months in Michigan in a legal mess waiting for hearings, court trials etc because ICPC wouldn't clear us to come home. Being a new mom was the most wonderful experience, but those early months were greatly overshadowed by the legal mess and we weren’t certain that we’d be able to keep her. It was very hard. I would love to adopt again but I feel like I’m driven by so much fear. Fear in a failed match or placement, crazy birthfathers, another long uncertain match time, you name it. I don’t want to be hurt again. Once bitten twice shy right?

So that’s a bit of our history. We are preparing now to try IVF for the first time in a few months. We’ll most likely be cycling up at the U and even had our IVF consultation a few weeks ago. I’ve been spending hours online looking at different clinics trying to find the best bang for the buck that comes with good success rates. That’s a whole other topic for another post! I see there are a lot of people here with male factor. Have any of you done DNA fragmentation testing? If we go to the U we’d only really be able to afford one or “maybe” two cycles. But that would essentially drain us of all of our savings outside our retirement. Option 2 is to go to a clinic out of state that I found that is essentially the same price for the first cycle, but they offer a greatly discount rate for cycles 2 or 3 if you need them. But then there’s all that travel. I can’t really stomach the idea of paying the U’s $25K for a shared risk cycle, but we don't have anywhere near that amount saved up anyway. So I don’t know what to do! I hate that we have to spend this kind of money on these sorts of things.

Well that’s me in a nutshell. Nice to “meet” you all!