More information

Okay, so here's the skinny:

Mimi's adoption was one of those that was "super-open", but her birth-mom moved to Illinois this past summer when she joined the military.   Due to the nature of the adoption, we've always had a good relationship with her and her family.   Anyway, she called us Wednesday after her ultrasound and asked my hubby if we would adopt this one too and of course he said yes, but there are some pretty big complications, the biggest of which is the fact that Illinois adoption law is so different from Utah law.  The other complication is from the birth-father who seems openly hostile toward the LDS faith in general and adoption in particular.  We are worried about it even happening and trying desperately to not get our hopes up.

Tamara, if you don't mind me asking, you said that placement was a "can of worms".  Mind if I ask you to share your experience?  We are super concerned about placement (if she ends up having the baby there) mostly because of the birth-father's hostility.  Although, the Illinois case-worker seems to think that with him living here in Utah, it would be better for her to give birth far away from him.  But our caseworker gave us the info on relinquishment of parental rights in Illinois, and now I'm worried because if she does give birth there, and he does NOTHING, he has 30 days following the baby's birth to make a claim, AND the agency has to provide proof that he was notified of the adoption plan.  Utah Law seems better because its 24 hours (or is it 48 now?) following the birth of the baby and his rights are terminated if he hasn't signed the birth-father registry (and you don't have to tell him about the adoption plan).

**Sigh**

I think I just need to calm down and wait for things to unfold a step at a time...

Lots of impossible stuff...

Gave a talk on Mother's day in my ward.  Lots of quotes from Sheri Dew and if anyone wants to read it, its located here.  It is kinda long, though.

Anywho, if you do actually click on over, please be careful what you post as what I'm about to say is still pretty confidential, and I don't want my family and friends freaking out because I didn't tell them...

Erica (my daughter's birth-mom) called Monday night.  She found out on Mother's Day that she is pregnant, but her fiance broke up with her about a month ago.  She is FIVE months pregnant, and still unsure about what she's going to do.  She's in the Navy right now, going through school (in Chicago at the Great Lakes Naval Training Center) for her specialty.  She isn't going to get kicked out for being pregnant, and it kind of sounded like she's thinking about parenting, although she did tell her mom (I talked to her yesterday) that she thought we would only be interested in adopting her baby if it is a boy. (Which isn't the least bit true.)

But I need some help here.  Have any of you had birth-mothers that lived out-of-state?  How did you handle the distance in the relationship?  Any ideas would be helpful!  I hope you all are doing well!

hey ladies.

just wanted to update.. it's been a week.

had my 2nd beta and it was exactly 150.. so dr. f thinks maybe 2?? ah.

i had another one drawn this past monday and it was 771 so it's still rising appropriately and we'll now just wait for heartbeat(s) at the end of may. thanks for all the well wishes, but we still have so FAR to go before we quit worrying. but once again, dr. f is AMAZING. 2 for 2.

ash

.ivf #4.

hey ladies...

not sure who still reads this, but we did start the adoption process while we were pursuing our 4th ivf (2nd with SIRM). i'm happy to report that our first beta at 7dp5dt or 11 dpo was 52. we are pretty excited but still VERY aware that this could end up like last time. last cycle my first beta was 5, so 52 is a significant improvement and dr. f said if it's over 150 tomorrow that we may be having 2 :) we'll see tomorrow. hope you are all doing well.

oh, and we have 4 frosties! crazy how a different dr can improve the outcome so much!

.let's talk about adoption.

hey ladies. it's me again. i really need your help now. i'm not sure if any of you know, but i actually miscarried last week...i know, ugh. and my dr. doesn't feel like we'll get much better results with another ivf... i think we'll still do one more in vegas cause we paid for it, but we are FOR SURE beginning the adoption process. and as i have prayed about adoption...i haven't felt peaceful about starting it, until this past sunday. my husband and i now KNOW that heavenly father is preparing the way for a baby to come to us and we want to listen. i'm almost sure we'll be using LDSFS so any ladies that have tips and info about how to make this smooth. i have requested the info packet and will attend the orientation in april...but are there other things i can be doing with our house, or with the profiles, etc?? we're SO excited... i finally feel normal again...and not so broken?

love you all.

.2nd beta.

so the results of the "real" 2nd beta is 26. i guess i really am pregnant. thanks for all the support ladies. but don't worry, i will never forget the heartache and can always be a listening ear. good luck everyone with everything you're doing..keep us updated.

ashley

.update.

so i'm like, SUPER impatient. and was worrying all day yesterday about my "low beta"..so what did i do. i called dr. f to get him to order a blood test for today AND tomorrow, instead of waiting til tomorrow. he complied...he appeased me. so, i had my blood drawn today and my beta is now 10!! so it doubled in 24 hours. i'm ecstatic.. dr. f. is THE MAN...

thanks everyone for the nice comments and i'll keep you updated.

ashley o

.holy moly.

hey ladies. i keep checkin' this blog and it's pretty "quiet" and i wanted to get your opinion on this. so i just finished my 3rd ivf, first one with new RE in vegas. i loved my experience with SIRM and hope that what i found out today really means i'm pregnant! help me out guys.

so SIRM does your first beta at 8dp3dt (about 4 days earlier than most) and i just got my results ... beta = 5. so TECHNICALLY it's positive, but i know it's low, even for 8dp3dt. what do you guys think? too early to get excited? i hope not. i did have a positive hpt today but it's SOOOO faint. i just hope this isn't a chemical. that will suck.

HI THERE!!!!!!

My long lost friends how are all of you??? I have missed you all so much and feel so bad I have not kept up on this blog better!!!! Life has been so busy but I think of all of you often. Alena, Welcome, Kerith I miss reading your blog. How is every one, what are you all up to, how is the fertility process coming along for each of you? I would LOVE to hear how you are all doing and see where everyone is at in the process. PLEASE PLEASE post some updates. LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

Love, Kim

Kerith, WHERE ARE YOU????

Does anyone know how to get a hold of Kerith? She dropped her blog and I don't have any way to contact her. If any of you have an email address for her (or if by chance Keri herself is reading this) could you email me at skiballswife at hotmaildotcom?

Thanks so much ladies!

.insurance for infertility petition.

hey y'all.

i don't know if any of you have seen this, but i put a button on my blog and emailed a bunch of people. it is a petition to get insurance companies to cover infertility. since money should NOT stand in the way of having a family.

it would be awesome to get tons of people to sign it. it may not help us, but hopefully it can help others in the future to not have to bear such a financial burden..as if the heart-wrenching pain of infertility is not enough. love you all.

here is the link.

www.petitiononline.com/FI200507/petition.html

Dr. Richards

Dr. Richards was Dr. Andrew's Endochronesiologist (i don't know how to spell it, but that means he is the man in the lab. VERY IMPORTANT POSITION. As they are really the ones who make embroys fertilize and mature appropriately.) before Dr. Andrews got in trouble. Now Dr. Richards has a new partner from LA who travels to Utah every other month to perform IVF procedures. Other than the retrieval and implantation, Dr. Richards does everything else.

Dr. Richards is in American Fork at Center for Advanced Reproductive Medicine Inc. 801-756-4313. His success rate with the last group was 8 out of 11 got pregnant and 2 of the 3 had frozen embryo they were going to try again with. My neighbor Dustin and Valerie Zwanitzer used him a couple years ago and really enjoyed their experience and it was successful.

His new partners is Dr. Richard Marrs. You can read about him online at ww.lainfertility.com - there is a ton of info on him and he quite a reputation. America's leading Reproductive Specialist. 1st IVF baby. Founded the National Reproductive Society.

If you are interested, call Dr. Richards first b/c Dr. Marrs offers clients Dr. Richards recommends special pricing. His Utah pricing of IVF is $7k and my friends say they spent less than $10k on the whole procedure including drugs - so I am assuming the drugs will add a couple thousand at the most. And some insurances are covering all medication cost. In fact, my friends insurance paid 30% of their entire IVF. Anyone needing ICSI would have to travel to LA, b/c Dr. Richards does not have the appropirate technology here in Utah. He quoted me $8800 for IVF in LA (not including cost of drugs, or ICSI, or travel - but keep in mind Dr. Heiner just quoted me $1300 for IVF, $1500 for ICSI, $1500 for retrieval of sperm - a special procedure we have to do to get my husbands's guys out, + cost of drugs).

Hope this helps. This is an option, I am and would definitely consider! Good luck to you all!!

Lots of love - addie

IVF and Adoptive Mom

Hi, my name is Michele and this is my first time posting here. I am a mom to 2 kids. My son was conceived through IVF and will be 2 in January. My daughter was adopted through Heart to Heart Adoptions and will turn 1 in February.

We did our IVF at the U of U with Dr. Mark Gibson. We were very lucky that we had a successful outcome, because when it came to transfer, we only had one embryo left, and that led to our sons pregnancy. The reason I am posting here is because we are considering doing IVF again in 2010 to try and achieve one more pregnancy. I always assumed we would just go back to the U, but after reading about some of your stories on this blog, I am wondering if we should be considering more options. I have heard a little about Dr. Richards, and know he has good success rates. We have female and male factor infertility though and ICSI will be necessary, so does that mean Dr. Richards is not an option for us? I read that he doesn't perform the ICSI procedure? What about mini IVF programs? Programs in Vegas and LA? I just wanted someone to give me a list of places to check out. I would GREATLY appreciate it. I had no idea that things could change so quickly, but it seems they have. We were told when we had to do IVF, that there are only 2 places in Utah to do it, U of U and St. Marks. Apparently that is not the case and I want a comprehensive list before I jump in, ya know? Any info would be nice! Thanks ladies. Best of luck to you all. Infertility is really, really hard, but the rewards in the end can be that much better because of our struggles.

our miracles.

www.johnandmichele.blogspot.com

.need help.

hey girls.

i know most of you don't really post much on this sight, but i'm hoping that you're still checking it a little. we just found out our 2nd attempt at ivf failed like the 1st one did. we are officially done with ivf for now and are moving to adoption. we would LOVE some tips, pointers, and advice as to where and how to begin the process. i think we're set on lds family services...but are open to stories about other agencies. thanks so much.

ash

Just a Head Up

I haven't shared a ton about my story because by the time this blog started I had two newborns and infertility was the last thing on my mind! I would like to let you guys know about my doctor.

I went to Dr. Larry Andrew in Springville, Utah. We had some friends that recommended him and we were moving to Payson so we thought we'd give him a try. We had previously tried for four years and had done 6 IUIs. From the minute we went into his office he diagnosed me and my husband more quickly and correctly than any other doctor. He was very organized, clear, and was straight about our options. He had a great course of action and explained things very clearly. He had everything he needed in his office to do IVF and ICSI. His embryologist was great. The only thing they didn't offer at the time was the ability to freeze and store eggs, but he had a colleague that would do that for you.

We decided to do IVF with him because of his knowledge and his price was so great. It was $10,000. Our first cycle went well and we got pregnant only to find it was ectopic. Sadly, we had to miscarry. We moved onto adoption because our first boy was adopted and it was cheaper. Because we had met our deductible that year we decided to do a laparoscopy to see how severe my endometriosis was. It was something I hadn't wanted to do in the past because I hated the thought of spending the money, going into surgery, and then them saying, "You are just fine!"

A month after my surgery we heard from a friend that Dr. Andrew was doing a cheaper procedure where instead of using all the injections, blood draws, and ultra sounds which make the IVF so expensive he was doing a clomid IVF. It was only $3000. We asked him if we were good candidates and he said yes. So you basically go on clomid like you would for an IUI. When it was time you get an ultra sound and if all looks good you do an egg retrieval, 3-5 days for the egg, then the transfer. If it doesn't look good you are only out the cost of the clomid. It worked for us and we now have our Brynn. We paid an extra for $500 for ICSI both times. Although I have several factors in my infertility our main thing was we need the joining of the egg and sperm. Doing this clomid IVF was just what we needed.

While going through this procedure we found out Dr. Andrew was going through some legal battles. He was charged with forcible sex abuse from 8 patients. We had a struggle trying to decide if we wanted to continue with him. After a lot of praying we just made sure someone was always in the room with me, as well as a nurse, and figured he would not do anything while going to trial soon. We also had a really hard time believing he would do anything like that. He ended up going to jail for a year and was released and was able to practice family medicine. We just found out starting December he will be able to practice infertility again.

His new prices are $4,500 for clomid IVF (I'm not sure what he calls it) and $6,500 for IVF. ICSI is still an additional $500. The reason I tell you guys all this is he may be right for you. I know it sounds crazy to go to someone after hearing all that but I just wanted you to know about this option. I truly think he has a gift for treating infertile patients. I also know the desperation that you feel when you want children so badly. I just know that he is competent and that if we want another child we will go to him. His office number is 801-794-3670. Feel free to ask me any questions or if you look him up on google you can read some articles on ksl about his trial. I get that this could sound crazy to you but I just wanted everyone to have another option available. Good luck!