So, I have a question for you ladies out there: how do you feel about baby showers? Have you ever purposely declined an invitation because you just couldn't face attending yet another one? Or do you think it's silly and petty to poop out on a friend or family member's celebration?
I tend to feel guilty really easily, so I've only stayed home once--and it was a friend from high school, held at the home of someone I didn't know, I had just started my period yet again, and I just didn't want to deal with tons of people I hadn't seen since high school, especially when I didn't look or feel my best. But faced with yet another shower invitation, I am nearing the end of my rapidly fraying rope as far as tolerance for these things!
This particular shower is tomorrow, and it's for my cousin...who hasn't been married as long as I have, has an unfortunately shaky marriage, is unemployed, has a husband who is also unemployed, and yet purposely planned this pregnancy (and got pregnant on her first month of trying). Oh, and she's having a girl, which somehow makes it harder for me (I think it's because I'm dying to have a baby girl to dress up). While on one hand I know I should be thrilled for someone else's blessings, especially since her fertility has no bearing on mine, but another part of me feels like it would be disingenuous to sit and smile and hand over gifts celebrating a life choice that I think is absolutely ridiculous and irresponsible.
I know my attitude definitely needs adjusting, and that this shower is not meant to slight me. Maybe, as my husband says, I'll look back on this and feel guilty for not going. But if I can't force myself to plaster on a fake smile, would it be better for me to just stay home? Especially if the shower is on the same day as a doctor's appointment that could possibly give us some bad news (more on that later)?
What do you girls think?
Monday, July 21, 2008
To go or not to go?
Posted by Hillary at 2:27 PM
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7 comments:
I personally have always forced myself to go to baby showers for people that were married (I usually never went to the ones that were held for people who were not married... I don't have a lot of control over my emotions when it comes to babies). There have been many that I cried all the way home, and there have been many that I dropped off a gift, said my hellos and left because I cried all the way there and knew I would not be able to hold it together for yet another person getting what I wanted so badly.
Really and truly Hillary it is your call on what YOU feel comfortable doing.
Good luck and I will pray that you get good news with your Ultrasound.
Hillary, i agree with Stacy. When it comes down to it, its your decision.
I know its not much help because you want an answer, but i feel torn at this point because i am only a few weeks behind what your going through and i wouldn't go. I can't fake being happy when im not and i sure as heck don't want to ruin that person's happy day!!
Good luck tomorrow!! Many prayers will be coming your way!!:)
This is a hard one and something I struggled with a lot. I also made myself go. I even went to a cousin who was having twins out of wed lock.It was so hard to go and be happy for her when I was so sad for myself. But I knew that she needed my support and that someday I would have a baby and I would want her to be there for me. Her having twins was going to be a trial for her and I needed to realize that she was facing a difficult time as well and she was very aware of that.
What is hard when they are so ignorent about bringing a baby into the world. To make a choice to bring a baby into a hard situation is not very smart.That is what makes it is so hard for you to be happy for her.
This is a hard choice only you can make. If you can't hold it together don't go. If that is the case do not feel bad about it. The Lord knows this is hard for you and he will still bless you even if you miss a baby shower. You don't have to do it all. Lots of Love and good luck! Let us know what you decide to do.
Tough one Hillary... I go for the cake. I love food. People wouldn't even know I wasn't smiling because my mouth would be crammed full of the free sweets.
Now, in all seriousness - Do what you are able. Nothing more. Nothing less.
If I lived near by, I would volunteer to drive you... for support. And cake.
Thanks all! I'm still on the fence about going. My mom and sister will be there, so at least I'll have some immediatey family support. On the other hand, no one there has fertility issues, so who knows?
Hillary go so i am so glad you asked this question i use to always go and be fake and then be upset when i go home and take it out on my husband but lately in the last year i have stared to boycott babyshowers i am happy for the married people that can get pregnant no problems but i am sick and tired of going and feeling depressed all day because it just reminds me of what i want so bad. so now i tell my husband i need to find something to do like go out of town for the weekend or something so i could have a reason to not go. The worst one was about a year ago and is was for my sister-in-law but her situation was and still is not good so i couldnt go and be fake happy my mother in law was a little upset with me but then i explained to her how i felt and she understood thank goodness. But good luck just go with how you feel and good luck tomorrow and have fun on your vacations Stefanie
sorry it says hillary go it was a typeo i have a 5yr old bugging me so if ther are anyomore typeos again i am sorry
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